Replace This Headline Contest: Saudi Laughline of the Day

Saudis say “alternative energy not yet ready.”

No, I’m not making this up.

“Saudis say ‘now that we’ve paid millions of dollars to overwhelm your society with Salafish bullshit, don’t you dare leave us back in the 19th century?’ ”

“Saudies: We still pwnz yer wallet.”

“Oil still necessary for our headless-wife future.”

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10 Comments

  1. Mike

     /  February 16, 2009

    Well, they are not exactly wrong. We don’t have a full replacement for oil yet. WE have some bits and pieces that can make an impact, but no total replacement. Maybe we could do the coal to oil thing (that becomes profitable at about $60 a barrel, so I could go for that). But until you get Americans to stop using cars we are pretty much boned. Sure we can reduce the amount by coal to gas, drill our own stuff (THANKS for that whole ban thing enviros), use natural gas, but we are going to need oil for a while yet.

    Now if you are talking major power plants, then jump aboard the Nuke train and sign me up. But again, I am not going to hold my breath. Even recent breakthroughs that actually burn off almost all hazardous wastes won’t do us any good with the current progressive crew in charge (because all nukes are bad, youcould make a weapon out of them).

    If we do get a breakthrough, and for once we are actually able to push it through the wackos-progressives, hell yes let’s leave Saudi in the dust. But it won’t be anytime soon.

    Reply
  2. convivialdingo

     /  February 17, 2009

    We just need one friggin huge rubber band.

    Reply
  3. Okay, that’s a headline of sorts…

    Reply
  4. Mike

     /  February 18, 2009

    How about “Every time you think of building a nuclear power plant a fairy dies”?

    Or “US Progressive Liberals and Saudi Conservative AQ Terrorists working together to build a brighter future”?

    Reply
  5. blackpine

     /  February 23, 2009

    Saudi Council of Money Tit Experts Predict Global Money Tit Shortage.
    -Recommend Rationing
    -Warn of Shift of Tit From “Money” Status to “Hind”

    Doomsayers or Futurists? The Coming of “Real Jobs”
    -What Are They Like?
    -Who Does Them?
    -“Earning” Money
    -“Making” “Products”

    Reply
  6. blackpine

     /  February 23, 2009

    A better rewrite for the first headline:

    -Global Tit Market set to downgrade from “Money” to “Hind.”

    Reply
  7. drteine

     /  February 23, 2009

    I know I can always rely upon you for a laugh. The last two of earning money and making products really had me laughing especially since the overuse of italics has always made me laugh, or disgusted when it gets used with “food”.

    Reply
  8. blackpine

     /  February 23, 2009

    I note the absence of quotes too. Such as with the packaging I saw once that made the straight faced claim of gourmet hot dogs. Only the finest lips and assholes from Kobe beef cattle went into these hot dogs. The grinding machine was custom designed by Porche. And while some hotdogs smell like coolo, these smell like the freshly perfumed coolo of a top dollar French prostitute. Truly a hotdog for the discriminating gourmand.

    Reply
  9. drteine

     /  February 24, 2009

    And where pray tell did you have these culinary monstrosities?

    It sounds like something that we would have had a club Crozet, and yet it sounds possibly even worse.

    Reply
  10. blackpine

     /  February 24, 2009

    I didn’t have them. I was settling in on specific sausages by then (1 pack brats, 1 loaf pumpernikel, 1 dab sharp mustard, 1 pair emergency pants). There were a ton of things with gourmet being stuck on the front of it at that point.

    Reply

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