Quick, Smuggle my Brother an Oreo!

You know, iirc, all those trans-fats that the People’s Republic of California just banned under Ahnold… weren’t they produced because The Virtuous People were biotching about the dangers of saturated fats?

Trans fats occur naturally in small amounts in meat and dairy products. Most trans fats are created when vegetable oil is treated with hydrogen to create baked and fried goods with a longer shelf life.

So much for lard. What is Mexican food going to come to? Next time I head west, I swear I’m going to eat fatback on buttered toast in public.

Violations could result in fines of $25 to $1,000. Food items sold in their manufacturers’ sealed packaging would be exempt.

The bill’s author, Assemblyman Tony Mendoza, D-Artesia, said he hoped the legislation would lead to similar laws in other states.

Uh, don’t hold your breath, Mendoza. The “where California goes” strategy just went out the window the moment you allowed me to legally ship my brother a mass-manufactured Oreo cookie. The rest of us are going to be laughing our asses off at you guys over our bacon-and-sour-cream-covered hamburgers…

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  1. Wow, did IQs just drop sharply while we were away or what? While it’s true that trans-fats do occur naturally in trace amounts as a result of free-radicals in an animal, neither lard, fatback, sour-cream or any other such yumminess will be affected by this ban. Neither will my beloved lengua burritos. Nor will Oreos (unless there’s some restaurant that has Oreos on its menu that I’m unaware of). But the fry-grease in MacDonalds sure will, and I think that’s a damn good thing given how unhealthful hydrogenated oils are. In a restaurant there really isn’t the kind of labelling that lets you know whether the food you’re eating DOESN’T ROT or not; whereas when I have an Oreo fix, I’m perfectly capable of reading the label and deciding that I just don’t give a damn.

    PS. I just had a bacon & sour-cream covered hamburger not an hour ago, smothered in mustard. Yum.
    PPS. They don’t call it the Cereal State for nothin’ — I’ll happily agree with you over many issues wherein the Californian electorate really does need to be set out to sea in a barrel, but for Jove’s sake, at least stick the knife in the ribs that earn it so I can join in on the fun… .


    Your Cereal-State-Living-In Brother

  2. Ah, well, perhaps this was written oddly.
    Oh, and btw, lard doesn’t rot, either. It’s totally stable at room temperature, I keep a bucket in the kitchen for leatherworking…

  3. Anna

     /  July 28, 2008

    Russ, that’s because it is stabilized with some chemicals (hence I gave up using lard in this country. Tastes funny). Real lard, like butter needs to be kept cold, or it goes rancid. Trust me, my grandma had a huge crock in the coldest part of the house–the pantry. 🙂

  4. We get butter you don’t have to keep in the fridge either — creeps me out….

  5. Alex

     /  July 28, 2008

    Mmmmm…..butyric acid.

  6. Anna

     /  July 28, 2008

    Jim- ewww…

  7. Alex

     /  July 28, 2008

    Mmmmm….oleoresin butter…..

  8. Yup. So what is a little mom’n’pop restaurant going to use to cook its stuff?

  9. Alex

     /  July 28, 2008

    Mmmmmm…..soylent green……

  10. Yep. Their Sysco account will start delivering them lard, or else something else so high in *saturated* fats that it makes a person blow up like a ballpark frank… and whereas the chains will have all the pull they need to negotiate themselves a good deal, the M&Ps are going to get hit right in the balls.

    If California were serious about the issue, they’d have taken it straight to the Oreos.

  11. I have no problem with lard; a little goes a long way. Besides, our grandparents ate lard, butter, fatback, etc, and weren’t fat until the ‘progress’ of the 70s brought us more and more of the non-rotting stuff.

    I’d far rather have to exercise more that eat stuff that eat stuff that doesn’t rot. Except when I know I’m eating badly.

    Besides, you’re the one who’s always talking about maintaining the availability of high-calorie food for poor people; their super-burritos will now be super-duper-burritos.

  12. Mike

     /  July 28, 2008

    Amen to that, and get me a Meers Cheeseburger…

  13. Anna

     /  July 28, 2008

    Any day, Mike, any day…MMMMM… 🙂

  14. Yep, a great big one.
    So, are we sticking with lard-off-the-shelf, or are they going to mandate, new, healthy, it-rots-now lard?

  15. I suspect it’ll be lard stored with the milk in the fridge, but I don’t know the details.

    What I do know, and since you also have previous fry-cook experience I expect you to agree with me, is that if they’re not changing the oil from their fryers already then they deserve to go the hell out of business and may flights of banshees harpies wing them off to insolvency….

  16. You know fer a fact that mom’n’pops use their oil until it stands up on two legs and walks into the grease bucket… hrm… speaking of which, I need to get me some suet, since “lard” doesn’t oxidize.

    Anyway, if your lovely state didn’t already have a long history of abusing regs like this to put people out of business they didn’t like (“no, ADA will never be used to get rid of strip clubs, we PROMISE!”), I’m just agog at the potential for abuse with relatively little health benefit.

    Oh, for balance, I’ll go dig up some Texas HOA horror story, since we’re actually WORSE than you guys on that one…

  17. Are you kidding? Tell me a city in this country that doesn’t mis-use laws for political purposes like that….

  18. happycrow

     /  July 29, 2008

    Well, in this case, beating up on the independents: like I said, I’ll dig up a nice juicy Texas HOA case for ya, jes’ fer balance.

  19. That’s a start. Personal ornithopters… mmmmmm, ornithopters.

  20. Mike

     /  July 30, 2008

    As a general food note, it is looking like my parents want to throw a pre-wedding bash. The current idea is at Toby Keith’s “I Love This Bar And Grill.” These guys serve a burger that is sooooo good you could kill a liberal by making him look at it.

  21. wheeeeee

  22. Anna

     /  July 30, 2008

    YUM, greasy food.

  23. talked about the difference between tallow and lard to an “older than dirt” semi-retired instructor yesterday. They kept lard in a pail in the kitchen, in Texas, never had any go wrong, made all of said lard themselves b/c they were a piss-poor farm family, and the only things they bought were sugar and flour.

  24. Mike

     /  August 1, 2008

    Just to rub it in to the Cally crew, Tamara just paid me a surprise visit and brought me a Meers Cheeseburger for supper.

    This should answer any remaining questions as to why I am marrying her.

  25. Constant “awww” from the Bunnywife…


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