Emergency Vacation Dead Animal Count

FINAL UPDATE:  And, Deer have it!  Yes, it’s a great showing for deer Texas-wide this week, which just goes to show you… the family that crosses the highway without looking in both directions together, hemorrhages together after being violently slapped off the road!

First Place:  Deer, with 45 contestants

Second Place:  Skunks, with 20 little stripey bits

Honorable Mentions:   3 careless vultures, 2 goats, a horse, and 12 assorted unrecognizable smears and/or fluffy bits.

The Pack:

possums – 7, squirrels – 3, raccoons – 5, coyote – 3, dogs – 5, cattle – 1, random skeletons – 2, armadillos – 3, badgers – 2, unidentifiable small birds – 1, “road chunks” – 2, and not least, “woogums the chunky kitty.”


On Texas roads this week:

4 dead skunks, 2 dead possums, 2 dead squirrels (one tubed, one flat),

1 each: horse (red), deer (bloated), raccoon (stiff), coyote (paste)

3 unrecognizable greasy stains

UPDATE: Skunks are still in the league, but an unexpectedly strong showing by yellow furry dogs has put the race in doubt! Today’s score is as follows…

4 dogs, yellow (some with black spots), 2 coyotes (1 gutted), 1 armadillo, 2 skunks, 2 unrecognizable fluffy smears

1 raccoon, 1 squirrel, 1 baby cow, brown (dessicated), 1 unidentifiable spine (probably cow), 1 skeleton with fluffy bits

1 possum ( juvenile).

UPDATE 2: OH, the HUMANITY! Whitetail have come out of NOWHERE on 190 to take a commanding lead!

3 Skunks, 5 Unrecognizable Fluffy Smears,4 Rabbits (1 skeletal, picked clean, intact except head, 1 fresh, complete with 3 vultures), 1 “Road Chunks”,1 Dog,1 Possum,1 Careless Vulture (!!),1 Skeleton (unrecognizable),1 Armadillo,1 Raccoon,1 unidentifiable small bird (wings upright),2 Badgers (!!), 1 Seated Upright Blackened Dessicated Deer (eww)

**28** other Deer.


Today’s results:

Unrecognizable fluffy smears: 2

raccoons: 2

deer: 15

cat chunks: 1

careless vultures: 2

possum: 3

armadillo: 1

skunk:  11

goat: 2

“road chunks”: 1

Leave a comment


  1. Mike

     /  March 15, 2007

    A HORSE? Damn, what the hell hit it?

  2. Anna

     /  March 15, 2007

    Dunno…lightning? It was freshly dead, so am not sure.

  3. Happycrow

     /  March 15, 2007

    It was suggested to me that I not take the skin, even though it was fresh. Some people…

  4. 🙂 I think I am beginning to understand why you have gotten interested in hide production! YIKES.

  5. I’ve seen plenty of animals hit by lightning. We once had a cow statue at the ranch for a month before the buzzards would take it.

    If it was lightning – I don’t think you’d want the hide either, as it would be charred inside.

  6. Last month a brother-in-law of mine in AR got a call from a local policeman (he does search and rescue operations for them) to come out and get a deer that had been hit by a car. The deer was still barely alive when the park ranger got there, so the ranger finished it off with his revolver. So Pete picked it up and had a bunch of free meat……..

    His relatives all revolted when he told them they were eating road kill. Pete said it was not bad, of course, but it was full of bone splinters.

  7. Mike

     /  March 16, 2007

    Bleah. I’ll just shoot my own deer thanks.

  8. Bone splinters: ecch. But otherwise… cool!

  9. Poor armadillos — let’s hope can catch up.

    // Jim

  10. Madeleine

     /  March 16, 2007

    I’m putting my money on the unrecognizable stains/smears.

  11. They’re starting to really look like contenders, ain’t they?

  12. Mike

     /  March 17, 2007

    I still can’t over the fact that you saw a roadkill horse. I mean, a flipping HORSE? That’s like saying I saw a roadkill buffalo or cow. It is one of those creatures that is so big that you can’t figure someone could be blind enough or dumb enough to hit it. And if they did, you would see the wrecked vehicle in the dig 50 down the road.

  13. Mike

     /  March 17, 2007

    I meant ditch.

  14. Well, we saw it dead, but we’re not sure it counts as roadkill, since technically, it *was* inside a fence… but by the slope on which it was lying head-downwards, it sure didn’t just decide to lay there, let me tell ya.

  15. On a random note: Happy St. Paddy’s Day! 🙂 May you not see leprechaun roadkill!

  16. Mike

     /  March 18, 2007

    Saw some last night. Of course it may have been a drunk sorority girl who passed out face down in the hotel fountain…

  17. You cannot eat that…in the conventional sense. of course…..

  18. Mike

     /  March 19, 2007

    Very true, but you can gap with the rest of the crowd while the overweight security guard has to wade through the vomit to fish her out…

  19. Mike

     /  March 19, 2007

    Where the hell exactly did you guys go anyway? This is beginning to sound like you were cruising next to a petting zoo that was raided by PETA.

  20. Texas forts trail. Old frontier forts…

  21. Mike

     /  March 20, 2007

    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Damn that sounds fun. Lucky you.

  22. Anna

     /  March 20, 2007

    It’s really neat, Mike, we kept thinking about you. Worth running again at least part of it if you come down for a longer time to TX.

  23. Mike

     /  March 20, 2007

    Heh, funny you should mention that. Certain plans are in the works, plots are being made, and funny bumpersticker referring to badgers are being brought.

    All seriousness though, I have some plans to do just that. But I am taking care of some major career business right now. Hopefully I will have more news on this soon.

  24. Anna

     /  March 21, 2007

    Okay, we’ll wait with baited breath. You know that Jim and Maddie are here by mid-April?

  25. Mike

     /  March 21, 2007

    Yes, plans are being made on my end. I was hoping leave, but it may just be a 3 or 4 day weekend. More to come.

  26. Anna

     /  March 21, 2007

    ::happy dance:: Will prepare with vast quantities of meat.

  27. Mike

     /  March 21, 2007

    Heh, I am bringing deer. No splinters, I promise. And the bullet went clean through.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

  • Featured Eyeballs

  • What’s today again?

    March 2007
    M T W T F S S
    « Feb   Apr »
  • Archives

  • Blog Stats

    • 132,680 hits
  • Recent Comments

    Cults and Context |… on So, about that Bruce Jenner…
    Cults and Context |… on Yes, I AM, in fact, looking at…
    Cults and Context |… on How The Internet Says “D…
    Kat Laurange on Hungarian Military Sabre …
    Kat Laurange on Rose Garden! The Home Edi…
  • Advertisements
    %d bloggers like this: