Seeing the Unseen

Here’s a good read for your bus ride:

Well, that’s seven-year-old boys for you. Had I been so inclined, I was certainly smart enough to have determined that one could not build a Polaris Nuclear Sub with missiles and firing torpedoes and all the rest for $6.98. All $6.98 would buy you in 1967 was a cardboard box painted like a submarine.

I believed it – like so many of my cohorts – because I so desperately wanted to believe it…and the X-ray Specs, and especially those damn Sea Monkeys with their little briefcases and hats and aprons. What heartless son of a bitch wrote those ads? I hope he chokes on his brine shrimp, the bastard.

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  1. I have to admit that I was one of those that really wanted a submarine. Those magazine adds were a special hell on boys growing up with baby-boomer parents that really had no money to speak of. You would first read the comic, and, then, when no-one else was watching, microscopically examine each one of those adds. I say it was done in secret because, inevitably, if you showed Mom or Dad your desire to order “realistic hand-grenades,” sea-monkeys, gum that turns your friend’s tounges black or a real hand-held lazer (sparkler) gun, the response was usually “I’m not going to waste money on that CRAP!”

    One time my brother and I really did bug Mom long enough for her to order one of those army sets with 1,000 figures, cannons, horses and, if you believed the pictures, real explosions. Well, the explosions turned out to be imaginary and the peices were almost microscopic, but, by gum, my brother and I spent countless hours together playing with that set.

  2. Happycrow

     /  November 7, 2006

    Aw, man, you got one of those? I lusted over one of those suckers for AGES. I think I spent four weeks not breathing looking at one of the ads for those sets…

  3. Mike

     /  November 7, 2006

    Wait a minute. Isn’t James your brother? So are you saying he held out on you? Oh, that’s a beating that you owe him big time.

  4. Mike

     /  November 7, 2006

    I got the trick down as to how to get certain things. For anything military related, I just had to bring up what my Uncle Jim was saying about the military and my dad and mom got that “uh oh, he is listening to the freak” look. And then the Navarone Plastic Army men set (complete with evil Nazis) showed up for Christmas. That only worked once or twice. To get the 2 and 1/2 foot tall Godzilla required me publically announcing I didn’t believe in Santa Claus at a very young age (younger than you normally stop believing by about 2 years actually) due to lack of said Godzilla at 2 Christmas’s running. And “poof” their he was on Xmas morning (much to the displeasure of the Navarone Army men, Godzilla NEVER looses, especially to Nazis).

    Ah, fun memories. I only wish I hadn’t used the “nuclear option” on Godzilla.

  5. No, James is someone else here; i’m JimDesu here. I wanted all that stuff too, but soured on it after Russ tried to send my allowance to them for some.

  6. Yeah, I was kind of a shit that way… and I remember the Navarone set, it was AWESOME. Loved those pants…

    Nuclear option meaning gasoline and detergent?

  7. Mike

     /  November 8, 2006

    Heh, not quite. Some desiel fuel, some black powder, a metal pipe…

    you get the idea

  8. Zathras

     /  November 8, 2006

    The one I really wanted was the hovercraft for $4.95. Being 8 years old I couldn’t understand why this wasn’t such a great deal.

  9. happycrow

     /  November 8, 2006

    Aw man, Mike, with a drill you could have given Godzilla abreath weapon..

  10. Mike

     /  November 8, 2006

    I had given it some thought. But I couldn’t get to the propane (my dad got a bit worried and locked it up).


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