Talk about needing your hand held…
In a moment of boredom, I took Tickle's I.Q. test… now, I ain't proud of it, but like I said, I was bored, right? So, I fill all this stuff out, and it comes back with 133, and I'm a "Visionary Philosopher" (hollow dramatic announcer voice here).
How much sunshine does Tickle think I really need pumped up my butt this fine Thursday afternoon? I mean, it may all be about the "vision" thing… wait a minute, they might be right! I could start visioning, say, like, a really good tomato, and some ham… you can make a really good sandwich with ham… and then, um, some lettuce, and a bun… no, not a bun, how about one of long rolls like you get at Subway, only mine wouldn't be any of those wussy breads, but just straight-up pumpernickel…olives, italian dressing, sweet peppers, and maybe a pickle on the side, hold the fries… mmmmmmm…but then, I'm thinking, I'd have to find a philosophy to match, and who needs a philosophy just to have a sandwich? I'm telling you, it's bad enough that I have to go clicking all these little circles so Tickle can tell me how wonderful I am, now I have to come up with a philosophy of sandwich?
So, like, if I take a sandwich, and a steak, I serve the greater good by eating a Big Mac? Man, if this is Hegel's ultimate synthesis, why couldn't Tickle have just like sent me a burger coupon or something?And don't start about the fruit-flavored beers: I've already seen all the pink lemonade I need to see this week.Thank you.